someone threw a dead crab at me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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