break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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