I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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