I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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