and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
