apparently the secret to your success is patron
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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