Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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