The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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