Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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