I hate your face
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
