and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
