You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
