Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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