i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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