You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
