Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my shit smells like andre
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
