Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
