Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
