booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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