i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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