Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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