apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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