I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
