If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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