We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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