i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
