Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
