I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
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