Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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