I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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