They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I currently don't understand fingers.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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