there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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