i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
