already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
