i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
