i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
