He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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