I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
