Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
