i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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