I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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