I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
