I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
