I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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