The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
thus making me awesome and them whores
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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