It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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