Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
