She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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