I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
