um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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