She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.