I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
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All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.