I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
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We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
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it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.