Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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