I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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