fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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