Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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