Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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